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Handling Disappointment in Love

If you have ever been blindsided by a betrayal from someone you loved, or if you feel a persistent emptiness despite being surrounded by family and friends, you are experiencing the "Great Disappointment" of the material world. We often ask: Why do the people I care for most eventually hurt me? Is there such a thing as selfless love? and why do I only realize "no one is mine" after I’ve been broken by life?


Shri Hit Premanand Govind Sharan Ji Maharaj addresses this universal ache, explaining that our disappointment is not a tragedy, but a wake-up call to find the only love that is permanent.




Attachment: Why Worldly Love is Brittle

Maharaj Ji explains that our search for love is natural, but our choice of where to look is flawed. He breaks down the mechanics of human relationships vs. Divine love.


1. The Hunger for the Infinite

Maharaj Ji teaches that every soul has an innate "hunger" for love. This is because we are Ansh (parts) of the Divine, and God is the ocean of Love. Just as a fish gasps for water, we gasp for affection. However, we mistakenly try to satisfy this infinite hunger with finite people. Because humans are limited and driven by their own needs, they can never provide the absolute, unconditional love our soul craves.


2. The Trap of Selfishness (Swaarth)

Worldly love, Maharaj Ji warns, is almost always a "transaction." People love you as long as you fulfill their desires, provide security, or fit their mental image. The moment you stop being "useful" or "agreeable," that love begins to fade. He notes that even in the closest ties, there is a hidden layer of selfishness. "You are loved for your body, your position, or your utility—not for who you truly are," he explains.


3. The Lesson of the "Thokar" (The Blow)

Many seekers complain that they only understood the truth after receiving a "thokar" (a hard blow or betrayal). Maharaj Ji says this is actually Grace. Without that pain, we would remain comfortably asleep in the illusion that someone in this world belongs to us. Disappointment is the "bitter medicine" that God uses to turn our gaze away from the temporary and toward the Eternal.


4. Maharaj Ji’s Own Turning Point

He shares a deeply personal story from his youth. At age 13, while watching his mother, he was struck by the realization that she—the person he loved most—was "Maran-dharma" (subject to death). He realized that if his mother, father, and he himself were all going to perish, then these relationships were essentially a "passing show." This realization was so sharp that it drove him to leave home in search of the "Everlasting Friend."



The Next Step: From Listening to Living

Maharaj Ji teaches that you don't need to hate your family or walk away from your duties. You simply need to change the status of these relationships in your mind. To move from listening to living, stop looking at people as your "owners" or "protectors" and start seeing them as fellow travelers on a temporary journey. When you make God your primary "Dilbar" (Heart-stealer), your worldly relationships actually become healthier because you stop placing the heavy burden of "making you happy" on other people.

You don't need to change your clothes or your location to start your journey. You only need to change your direction.


How to Apply This Today:

  • The 'Only You' Prayer: Today, during your busy schedule, take 10 seconds to close your eyes and internally say: "Lord, in the end, only You are mine. Everyone else is Your guest in my life." This small shift reduces the fear of loss.

  • Serve Without Expectation: Choose one person today to do something kind for, but do it without expecting a "thank you" or a return favor. Treat it as service to the Lord residing in them.

  • Naam Jap as a Shield: When you feel lonely or ignored by others, do not seek comfort in your phone or more company. Instead, chant "Radha Radha" for 5 minutes. Let the sound of the Name fill the empty space in your heart.


Have you ever had a "heartbreak" that eventually led you closer to your spiritual path? Share your experience below.

"Don't be a beggar for human attention when you are already the beloved of the King of Kings. Worldly love is a shadow that disappears when the sun sets; Divine love is the Sun itself that never leaves your side."

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